Let's talk about cancel culture
/Last week I listened to this Braver Angels debate on the question: Is ‘Cancel Culture’ Erasing Free Speech in America? (If you're not familiar, you can see the dictionary.com definition of cancel culture here.)
It was a respectful two-hour moderated conversation that included twelve different people, sharing opinions and experiences that hit the topic from multiple angles.
The goal of the debate was not to arrive at a single agreed-upon Truth, but for each of us to come away with more empathy for opposing viewpoints, more clarity about our own point of view, and a deeper understanding of the issue overall.
It totally worked for me.
I had three main takeaways related to the debate question itself:
Cancel culture may inhibit people from expressing their honest opinions (for fear of being shamed), but it is doesn't threaten their legal right to free speech.
In fact, cancelling someone can itself be seen as a form of free speech, and therefore something we have a right to do to one another.
That said, just because we have a right to do it doesn't make it right. I didn't like cancel culture before I watched the debate, and I still don't. I think it's mean and counterproductive, and perpetuates fear and separation in a world that doesn't need more of either.
I also heard something new, though, as I listened to the people who were defending cancel culture. Underneath their justifications for these behaviors that I don't like was not vindictiveness, but pain.
Setting aside my typical impatience with their point of view, it became obvious that their primary goal wasn't to hurt people, or get revenge, or even be "right." Rather, what they wanted was for their specific hurts to be heard and seen and cared about. They were sick of being invisible.
I think a lot of this cancel culture dynamic has to do with our society's discomfort with emotional pain in general: We don't like to talk about it, don't like to see it in other people, and certainly don't like to experience it ourselves. So we don't have very good skills for dealing with it when it arises.
I want to live in a society where we recognize that mistakes -- even big ones -- are inevitable in human relationships, and we know what it takes to repair them. Where hurts are acknowledged and healed rather than denied and magnified. Where we feel safe enough in our families, communities, and workplaces to be honest with each other. Where we have no interest in using our free speech as a weapon.
Braver Angels-type conversations help with this, and I'm so grateful for them.
What else do you know of that helps? I’d love for you to tell me below.