Using hindsight to re-commit

Earlier tonight, instead of writing this blog post, I found myself in a long and heated argument with my husband -- which I realize, in hindsight, I could have totally prevented.

By listening to his actual words, rather than what I was reading into them.

By recognizing his good intentions, and trusting in our common goals.

By humbly considering that I don't know everything, and that he may have valid concerns.

Or, at the very least, by stopping to re-focus when I could see we were both worked up.

But instead, I persevered (ha!), and successfully engaged in over an hour of defensiveness and fear and negativity. Followed by a long period of journaling, apologizing and reconciling. 

It was good learning, I suppose, and I'm getting an unexpected new blog post out of it, but there are so many other ways I could have used that time.

I share this not out of shame or self-pity, but because, after messing up, it feels good to remind myself what I'm really committed to.

Listening. Trust. Humility. Self-awareness.

These things matter, and they are worth practicing over and over again. Along with huge doses of self-compassion and forgiveness.

Thank you for practicing along with me.