In my peaceful, centered moments, it is clear to me that humbly asking for help -- and being willing to receive it -- is a gift to everyone involved. Not only does it help us get our needs met so that we can be our best selves, but it invites other people to be their best selves, too. I can see that this flow of giving and receiving can ease suffering, inspire joy and creativity, and strengthen communities.
The challenge for me is that the times when I'm feeling most needy are also the times when I'm least likely to ask for the help I need. In fearful fight/flight mode, I am more likely to put up walls of protection than to let people in, and to make up stories about how I shouldn't need help, or don't deserve it, or that no one can help me, or that I don't care. It's a demoralizing and exhausting cycle that only ends when I have the courage to admit that I need and want help.
I've spent a lot of time living out this dynamic lately, and so it's on my mind. I also know that I'm not alone in experiencing it.
Not everyone has trouble asking for help with the same things, but I do think most of us have some needs that we're ashamed to admit we have. And when we take steps to attend to those needs despite our discomfort, it can be transformative.
One need I have is to spend less time writing my blog posts each week. I’ve also had a growing desire to include more voices in what I share, and to explore some of my connection card messages with you more deeply. So this week I'm trying something new, which is to invite you to write a few paragraphs on this topic of asking for help that you'd be willing for me to share on my blog and/or in a future newsletter.
What is it like for you to ask for help? What have you learned about giving and receiving help, and how did you learn it? When you see the message, "You can ask for help," what is your reaction?
Of course you can still just post a comment down below, but if you have more to say, please let me know. and I'll give you some guidelines and a deadline.
I look forward to your words!