Last night I decided I wasn't going to write a blog post this week.
I had stayed up crazy late the night before, preparing for my Generosity in Business workshop, and I was tired. And even though I've been incredibly proud of my commitment to this weekly communication, what I really wanted to do with my evening was drink tea, write in my journal, and reflect on my day.
So I did.
Not long ago, it would have scared me to miss a week. Like breaking a diet, or skipping the gym, one missed blog post could easily snowball into another, and another, and it would be hard to start back up again. That can feel awful.
But one thing I realized last night is that my bigger commitment, to be a voice for generosity and joy and goodness, isn't going anywhere. At this point, I'm confident that it would be there even if I stopped writing each week. So maybe it's safe to loosen my grip on this practice and see what else might be possible.
Maybe there is something else I could be doing with my time that would be even more worthwhile. Maybe there are more effective and efficient ways to communicate. Maybe it would be nice to be available to my family again on Thursday nights!
It was freeing to feel like I had that choice, and to recognize that a change would be okay.
And yet here I am, writing a blog after all. Why? Because what I found in that space of freedom was that I wanted to.
I like sharing my life and my thoughts. I like what it feels like to be connected to all of you, and curious about you, and to want good things for you. And that gets reinforced every time I write.
Will I keep doing this every week? Who knows. But for now, I'm grateful for the opportunity.