Change without striving and suffering

I recently signed up to participate in a 30-day Healthy Habits Re-Start group coaching program with Katrina Piehler.

The idea is to identify one specific habit that I'd like to focus on over the course of a month, and then use the structure of the group (and attention of the coach) to help develop it. 

Going in, I felt drawn to the concept, but also apprehensive about choosing a specific habit. 

I did not want to make this some kind of strivey self-improvement project to demonstrate that I can be "good" by sticking to some set of rules. (I've been-there-done-that enough to know that the whole good/bad paradigm is exhausting and unsustainable.)

I also, frankly, didn't want to add anything else into my schedule that might compete with other things I care about.

So what did that leave?

What I came up with in my pre-program coaching call last week was mindful breathing.

Breathing is one of those magical things that we have to do all the time, anyway. We don't have to be aware of it, but we can be, with just a little shift in focus. 

Noticing my breathing doesn't take any extra time, or keep me from doing anything else I want to do, but it helps me get into the present moment. And being present makes everything else in life easier and more enjoyable.

I love the idea of taking a whole month to just practice noticing my breathing more and more often. Not just when I'm drinking my tea in the morning, or when I'm stressed out and need to relax, but at all sorts of other times too. 

The official program hasn't even started yet, but it's already done me good as I've practiced more mindful breathing over the last several days. It's helped me slow down and maintain perspective. It's helped me notice more of what's happening. And in the moments where I shift my attention, I feel the immediate payoff of exercising my own freedom and agency -- no sweaty workout or plateful of vegetables required.

It seems to me that this is where true, sustainable habit change comes from: finding those little things that truly, easily, and immediately fulfill us, and remembering to do them more. Mindful breathing may not be the thing for everyone, but I like to think that each person has a habit like that, that would be inherently fulfilling to develop, and naturally cascade into other positive changes.

What do you think one would be for you? Have you had any other habit-changing breakthroughs that were especially important to you? What prompted them?

I’d love to hear. And if you might want to join me in the 30-day Healthy Habits Re-Start, you can get more information here.